‘Domestic abuse’ or ‘intimate partner violence,’ is defined by the United Nations as “a pattern of behaviour in any relationship that is used to gain, or maintains, power and control over an intimate partner”.

WHO indicates that globally about 1 in 3 (30%) of women worldwide have been subjected to either physical and/or sexual intimate partner violence.

‘Domestic Violence’ is any incident or pattern of incidents of controlling, coercive or threatening behaviour, violence or abuse by intimate partners or family members regardless of gender. Physical abuse may not happen every day.

Society still believes that domestic violence means only physical abuse with bruises, bleeding, and broken bones. Insults, threats, emotional abuse, controlling behaviour, financial abuse, and sexual coercion all constitute domestic violence.

‘Controlling behaviour’ involves a range of acts designed to make a person subordinate or dependent by isolating them from sources of support and depriving them of the means needed for independent living and regulating their everyday behaviour.

‘Coercive control’is an act or a pattern of acts of assault, threats, humiliation, intimidation, or other abuse that is used to harm, punish, or frighten their victim, isolating the victim from friends, family, hobbies, or even their job.

Power and control wheel

Many women do not even know that they are going through domestic violence, because they are subjected to mind control by the abuser.

Abusive partners may appear charming to the outside world but they can be a nightmare behind closed doors when there is no eye witness. There can be a pattern in the abusive behaviour to confuse the victim and the abuser put up good behaviour from time to time with apologies, gifts, and dinners to alter the victims thinking and perception. Once the victim is settled in the relationship, the abuser slowly starts emotional abuse with verbal put-downs, name-calling, and insults and the abuse escalates with time. Narcissistic abusers do not take accountability for their bad behaviour and they twist things around through gaslighting, triangulation, projection, manipulation and blame shift with smear campaigns to portray their victim as crazy and abuser to their social circle and employ ‘Flying monkeys’ to support and justify their abusive behaviour.  

Domestic violence and abuse (DVA) is a significant global health and societal issue and remains a public health and social care challenge worldwide. DVA is a violation of human rights that impacts the health and well-being of survivors and their families. Children growing up in such environments repeat the cycle in adulthood. Women, who make up the majority of domestic violence victims need protection through the legal system. Society needs to empower rather than stigmatise abuse survivors.

The cost of doing nothing is going to affect the physical and mental health of our future generation. So, it is very important to spread awareness. Break the silence. Contact the authorities for protection. Stop domestic violence.

Source: Seychelles Nation